The Dean & Three Types Of Women

1 Dec

Secret Diary Of PorterGirl

“Date went well, did it?” asks The Dean, arching an eyebrow. Head Porter struggles to find his voice.

“It was all going brilliantly!” he wails quietly. Head Porter removes the best part of his dinner from himself and into the bin before shuffling over and settling into a seat. Thankfully, there is just enough tea in the pot to offer our failed lothario.

“Shall we…well, shall we have speaks about it?” asks Professor Duke, adopting a sympathetic expression.

“Everything was just lovely,” explains Head Porter, a few mouthfuls of tea bringing him a degree of focus. “She was a comely wench and no mistake. Maria – an Italian! I took her to the little pasta place down by the Mill Pond. She was giving me all the right signals, you know – after me like a dog with a frisbee, she was. Very keen.”

“So what went wrong?” I ask…

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